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 Crownfall

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Roland Ootsutsuki
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Character Name: Roland
Clan: Ootsutsuki
Element: Fire, Wind, Earth

PostSubject: Crownfall   Thu Apr 16, 2015 3:08 am

Name: Crownfall
Rank: SS
Jutsu Type: Space/Time
Element: N/A
Duration/Cooldown: 5 Posts/12 Posts
Range: 75 Meters

Appearance:
 

What it does: Upon activation everything within seventy-five meters of the user will become inexplicably tethered to one reality. This will eliminate any other Space/Time abilities(jutsus, skills, etc that mimmick their abilities) that the user doesn't use of their own volition prior to this technique, and everything of the like rending the timeline and the space into one single plane for the moment of the user's choosing. For instance summons will still be there, and fuuinjutsus will as well but any space/time abilities will not function. The area chosen will be rendered completely nullified to such techniques, and upon activation genjutsus other than the user's will cease to function(they may be cast again afterwards). Even Space/Time abilities of the user will not function if cast after this technique is, however the user of this technique can also bend the fabric of time in this area. This will not allow the user to travel further back in time than one post, and it will not allow them to skip ahead in time or the user will tear the timeline and break the technique. This ability can only be used once per casting of this jutsu. Furthermore anyone caught in the area with a willpower that is not equal to the caster's mental sharpness will have their willpower, their reaction speed, their thought speed, and their health lowered by three ranks. This can only be done to one person inside the dimension, and it is of the user's choosing. This cannot be the same person for two or more consecutive posts unless there is only one other person inside the reality with the user.

Furthermore this technique will shatter any time/space abilities(used as a blanket term for this jutsu), jutsus, etc in play this includes any ninjutsus or fuuinjutsus that masquerade as such and they will likewise be prevented for the jutsu's duration. Upon activation, the corners of the technique will also be cut off from all realities, spaces and time leaving just this pocket dimension as the one true and only reality for those inside for the duration of this jutsu. Upon the jutsu's dismissal the people and objects inside shall replace those of the reality they were in prior to any space/time abilities being used before the fight. Upon doing so the status of the objects and persons, etc inside will replace that, to an outside observer the change will be instantaneous(even to X rank thought speed/reaction speed/etc).

Wordcount to learn: 6,000
Bonus Requirements: Sharingan Technique in Roland Ootsutsuki's eye.

Backstory: -

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Ezekiel 25:17


Last edited by Roland Ootsutsuki on Sat Apr 18, 2015 6:20 pm; edited 3 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Thu Apr 16, 2015 8:54 pm



I tried looking through this, but honestly the only things that ARENT wrong with this, are above "Range" and below "Wordcount to learn"

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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Thu Apr 16, 2015 10:27 pm

Okay I'll wait for a mod that will finish looking through it.

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Ezekiel 25:17
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Fri Apr 17, 2015 10:48 am

http://narutoageofthepast.forumotion.com/t1712-null-void

Compared to shit like this, compared to jutsu add ons which essentially do the same thing two ranks lower. W/e.

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Ezekiel 25:17
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Fri Apr 17, 2015 10:51 am

Actually made this as a combat for that and I have been focusing pretty heavily on defense but since nobody wants to go through my shit without seeing a huge block of text and wetting their pants Ill just make simple straightforward neurological and biological attacks. Thanks! Time to shift character focus Smile

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Ezekiel 25:17
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Fri Apr 17, 2015 11:46 am

Very well then. This is why.

This jutsu effectively seals everything within 150 meters, a huge range, into a pocket dimension which CANNOT be escaped, at all. It also negates any space time based jutsu, and breaks all genjutsu. Further there is this;

"The only Space/Time abilities that will function in this area are those of the user, furthermore this person can also bend the fabric of time and space in this area."

"Furthermore anyone caught in the area with a willpower that is not higher than the caster's mental sharpness will have their willpower, their reaction speed, their thought speed, and their health lowered by three ranks. "

"Anyone caught by this will be hurled off their feet and paused in mid-air for a single post. The range of this is the same of the technique."

Frankly, the reason I didnt respond before with this is because I see quite literally no way to allow this unless you completely and utterly change it to make it essentially another jutsu, or delete half of it. I was trying to look at a single thing that I could allow in this jutsu, and the only two things as it is, is the inescapability (If all other abilities were removed), and the range (which I would STILL be iffy on without all the other abilities). Specifically, those three quotes are the ones I absolutely CANNOT allow, for a variety of reasons which should be obvious to you. If you want to work this out anyway, thats fine.

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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Fri Apr 17, 2015 12:05 pm

THANK YOU

You have no idea how oblivious I am to my own bias sometimes, I kinda need something like this which is why I asked Jason only(as you were not on). Thank you now I can adjust this.

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Ezekiel 25:17
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Fri Apr 17, 2015 12:24 pm

There, updated it.

It's not exactly inescapable tbh, it's hard but not impossible at all. I will pm you one of the easier ways if you wish.

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Ezekiel 25:17
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Fri Apr 17, 2015 7:41 pm

It STILL does too much, man. This feels like five jutsu combined into one, all of which would be S rank, at least. The debuff is a huge problem, as well as the time travel, but if Kirito approves of the time travel, then that will be good. The denial of space time abilites/jutsu is a really wide open denial range, pretty much destroying most fuinjutsu, and all summoning. The " Anyone caught by this will be hurled off their feet and paused in mid-air for a single post. The range of this is only fifteen meters from the user however." part is also a huge problem, and could become an auto-kill if done properly, and we both know you know how to do it properly.

The range is better, though.

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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Fri Apr 17, 2015 8:04 pm

Would it be better if I specified that fuuinjutsu, and summons are allowed but they cannot bend the fabric of the reality there? That is really ultimately all I want. Okay I will remove the lag out, but could I ever make that later as a jutsu by itself or should I just not?

If Kirito disapproves the time that is fine, and yeah I suppose there are quite a few different things going on but yeah the lagwave will be removed.

How about for the debuff I only have it affect one person per post? Can not affect the same for two or more posts in a row unless they are the only other one in there?

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Ezekiel 25:17
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Fri Apr 17, 2015 8:15 pm

That would all work much better. As for the lagwave, a separate jutsu would be best, if you intend to still get it.

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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:10 pm

Updated

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Ezekiel 25:17
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Sat Apr 18, 2015 4:47 pm

Can I ask for a resist of the entire technique? Like if the target's S/T stat is higher than this techniques they will no longer have any effect of this technique apply to them?
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Sat Apr 18, 2015 5:45 pm

Hrm, well people have lower ranked jutsus without a resist for their effects so I dunno I'm down but only if you make that a rule.

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Ezekiel 25:17
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Sat Apr 18, 2015 6:04 pm

Actually since this really only nullifies S/T techs if I read it right(since I read it over again) it's not necessary
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Sat Apr 18, 2015 6:05 pm

Yupp, made sure to clarify it's all space/time effects aside from this one's.

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Ezekiel 25:17
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Sat Apr 18, 2015 6:14 pm

Alright then. This is fine except the time travel thing. I'm pretty strict on time travel stuff. I guess I can allow travel back one post but not travel forward. And travel back can only be used once per instance of this jutsu. If you fix that I'll approve it now
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Sat Apr 18, 2015 6:21 pm

Hahahahaha half the reason I added it was so I could disapprove all time shifting techs due to being too similar so I'm glad we both dislike that.

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"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Ezekiel 25:17
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PostSubject: Re: Crownfall   Sat Apr 18, 2015 7:56 pm

Approved on watch
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