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 Honorificabilitudinitatibus

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PostSubject: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Wed Apr 22, 2015 5:56 pm

With all his usual grace, Kurokon exited a portal in front of the gates of Konohagakure, closing it behind him. As he had just released Kenji, in his favorite location to drop bodies, he decided to come into Konoha in a far more calm and collected manner. His old student may not have a care for his reputation, but Kuro cared about his own, even if it showed up in strange ways. In any case, he had been to this village many times before, once as a child even. He usually traded goods inside for a profit, as Konoha was far more economically stable than other regions, allowing for him to dictate his own prices, especially for his books. Not many ninja wrote books involving the proper use of chakra and why huffing paint was a bad idea. Kuro did both. Many times. 

With a wave towards the Gate Guards, who should know by now that Kuro was technically a civilian, Kuro walked forward, into the village. Unless of course some ass showed up and blocked him. It tended to happen a lot around him.

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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Wed Apr 22, 2015 6:28 pm

By the time Kuro had arrived, Konoha was in a mass panic. Kenjiro, whom hadn't thought of stealing clothes from a line, had by sheer bad luck ran into the woman's side of the natural hot spring. Invoking the wrath of several Kunoichi of the Chuunin rank, whilst escaping them Kenjiro had ran into a clothing store and, once more without thinking to grab clothes, charged into a woman's changing room which held the daughter of a prominent clan head. Rushing back out Kenjiro now had a large number of clansmen chasing him, while doing so many were of higher rank then he himself, so for his own safety he activated his one tailed cloak before rushing off towards the gate.

*a few moments later*

A guard had stopped Kuro "Sir, you should truly keep safe. There is a sexual deviant running amo-" the poor guard was caught off guard as Kenjiro dived towards the gate, an army of angry women and clansmen following him, and cock slapped the poor sunuvabitch and hid behind Kuro.

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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Thu Apr 23, 2015 12:09 am

After being dick slapped in the face by a V1 cloaked naked man, the guard was knocked out. He was only barely chuunin rank after all. However, some time earlier.....


Kirito was of course sitting in his office at his desk doing what he usually did, paperwork paperwork and more paperwork. Seriously, there was no end to the stuff! He was just thinking he would enjoy something out of the ordinary to happen when he felt the presence of......Kyuubi? No, not just Kyuubi, it was masked by a ninja's chakra. So the Kyuubi Jin was in Konoha? How strange. The chakra had appeared so suddenly, out of nowhere really. That was when one of his ANBU had appeared and told him there was a strange man that had just appeared and was running around the village causing trouble......naked. Did he really just say naked? Yup, he sure as hell did. With a strange mix of confusion and suppressed laughter on his face, Kirito stood up and strapped Elucidator to his back over top of Blackwyrm Coat, choosing to leave Dark Repulser behind this time. Just as he finished getting his normal weapon set ready, aside from Dark Repulser, he felt another large chakra signature close to the village gates. This one however was familiar and brought a smile on Kirito's face that signaled understanding.

In the extremely generic and now stereotypical way he always did, Kirito would disappear in a sudden yellow flash, arriving at the village gates at the same time his guard had been knocked out by a chakra covered dick to his face. His immediate reaction was that of laughter but he held it back out of regard for the man lying unconscious. The horde of clansmen charging at the gates, apparently after the naked man, slowed to a stop when they saw Kirito appear. Kirito almost immediately noticed the source of the familiar chakra level after gauging the situation and surpressing his laughter at the out of place dick slap.

Kuro was standing a mere 4 meters away from him, the naked man diving behind him for cover from the clansman. So it WAS Kuro's doing after all. No surprise there. Completely disregarding the enormous amount of angry people behind him, Kirito's eyes would momentarily become a shade of light purple with rings around the pupil and clothes would form on the naked Kyuubi Jin before deactivating to their normal state. This would happen in exactly .03 seconds, due to the immense control over his doujutsu Kirito had come to possess from years of training. A smile would creep across Kirito's face. "Kuro! I should have known you were the cause of this commotion. The village always gets so....lively...when you return. Have you considered my offer of becoming a full time Konoha ninja? I have something interesting for you if you do!" he said to Kuro still smiling. "Oh and who is your previously naked friend?"
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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Thu Apr 23, 2015 8:19 pm

Perhaps it was the crisp morning air, the cool breeze, the wonderful shade, or the fact that his old friend had just knocked out a chuunin with a dickslap, but Kuro felt inexplicably happy. No, wait, it was definitely the morning air. The fresh, moist air on his skin was heavenly, indeed. Kuro paused that line of thought as he heard dramatic music begin to play, combined with a flash of yellow. Kuro glanced towards the being, recognizing the man as the hokage. Kuro put his hands up in defense, acting innocent. "I swear it wasnt me! I totally wasnt the one to replace the village's sugar supply with heroin!" Kuro exclaimed. To be fair, he hadnt. He replaced the entire country's sugar supply with heroin, which was totally different. Kuro, wearing his natural clothes because laziness, then glanced at Kenji, and his now not nude status. Perhaps it WAS that Kenji had dickslapped a chuunin into unconsciousness that had made him so amused. He didnt really care what did, so long as something had, though, so it was moot point. 

Kuro then glanced at the crowd, which had somehow gathered torches, firehoses, one penguin, sixteen katana(all wielded by the same person, oddly), and an elephant. Strangely, said elephant was mutated to be tuskless. No... holy fuck nevermind, that wasnt an elephant, just a ridiculously fat man with disgusting amounts of gray skin and wrinkles. 

Kuro, after almost gagging at the grotesque replica of the human blob, glanced at the crowd, before smiling. For a few moments, the crowd shifted nervously, some eager to charge forward, others worried. The worried ones remembered the great Alpacalypse of Konoha, so they did not want to anger Kuro, nor come within a mile of him. They had not started running because of two reasons. Mob mentality, and the fact that running made it worse, a fact which had been proven by the poor man who tried it during the Alpacalypse, only to wind up never being able to walk again. As the crowd began to grow more and more nervous, Kuro did one thing. He smiled wider, showing his teeth. Immediately, as if a nuke had dropped in front of the crowd, they vanished, weapons and elephant-man left behind, to drop to the ground and wheeze, respectively. Kuro turned back towards Kirito, wondering why everyone's name started with the letter K, before speaking. "So, how ya been?"

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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Thu Apr 23, 2015 9:35 pm

Kenjiro looked on confused, as his masters ally had clothed him with a simple glance. Was this man a fellow God? Kenji knew not, but what he did know was that Kuro was here, which meant Yoru was here as well. "I thank you all mighty God of clothing for this gift of...clothing." the young man spoke giving a bow. Then, immediately turning to Kuro, Kenjiro jumped into his pocket which held one of Kurokon's many pocket dimensions. Tossing out many things, including but not limited to, a giraffe, a whip for BDSM, some heroine and the female version of that elephant man.

It was through minutes of digging and tossing things out of Kuro's pockets, Kenjiro finally came out of the pocket. A sword of 7 feet in length strapped to his back, the guard of this sword shaped as a cross with rubies adorning it before meeting a six foot blade which was solid black in color and curved at the end. The sword was barely above the ground due to Kenji's short stature and the grip stood a head and a half taller then Kenji himself. "I thank you lord Kuro for holding onto my precious sword whilst I trained," looking at the elephant couple, whom whilst Kenjiro was in Kuro's pocket dimension made ugly ugly love, Kenjiro continued "Shall I use it on them?"

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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Fri Apr 24, 2015 6:04 pm

Kuro completely ignored Kirito's questions and said something about not swapping the village's sugar supply with heroine, which meant he had. Great. Soemthing else Kirito would have to deal with. Kirito put it on his to do list along with compensating the dick slapped guard. Speaking of which, the previously naked kyuubi jin was now digging through Kuro's pockets and throwing out an obscene amount of items from it including more cocaine and a very large woman that resembled an elephant. By the time the Jin had stopped digging and strapped a sword to his back, the elephant woman had somehow found a make version of herself and they were making very very ugly and disturbing love in the background, something that would undoubtedly have scarred Kirito if he had cared at all. It was a good thing he didn't care.

The mass amount of villagers that were at one point behind Kirito seemed to have suddenly vanished as well, but that was of no consequene really as he just wanted this topic to be over and his computer had erased his post twice already. Oh wait, that was Coltin, the guy behind the computer screen controlling Kirito. Nevermind then. In any case, getting back to the ridiculous immortal who had endless pockets and the kyuubi jin who liked to dick slap guards after running around naked, Kirito would just say what he needed to at this point. "Ignoring the elephant people having disturbing sex, I could use you among our ranks in Konoha Kuro. Your friend there is welcome to join the village with you of course. Heck I'd even be willing to help train him. Like I said I have an interesting gift for ya if you take me up on my offer. What do you guys say?"
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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Sat Apr 25, 2015 3:05 pm

Kuro shrugged, ignoring Kenjiro for the moment. "not like I have any previous obligations or anything, but Im not exactly a village person. I like my traveling, and being in a village hampers that." Most people would have been happy with a deal like that, though. Going from a lone warrior to being able to rely on various allies when needed, at the cost of travel freedom? Sure, it was a lovely deal, at first. Kuro though, was a far more nomadic soul, having developed his love for movement from years of captivity. He loved to see the world, and he had really only just begun. More than that, traveling allowed him to meet tons of people, all of who were either impressive beings, or a decent midnight snack. Oh yes, he had indulged in cannibalism from time to time. Many ninja had, so it wasnt as taboo as human experimentation, but it wasnt well received. Not that he gave a right fuck.

Kuro knew what Kirito wanted him in Konoha for. Their budding friendship aside, Kuro was a powerhouse and Kirito knew it well. Adding a powerhouse like Kuro to the ranks of a village would be a boon, one few could match. Not to mention Kuro was a great strategist, and inventor. If nothing else, Kuro could create amusing situations to improve morale. A useful skill which few ninja possessed. Adding the Mad Mystic to the ranks of the leave village could also be dangerous, since, ignoring his friendship with the kage, he had no connections to the country. Hell, if anything, Kuro had only loyalty for himself... in most eyes, at least. Few could comprehend the complex thought patterns that drove Kuro's actions. 

Kuro was also incredibly greedy. Not just for money, but for a lot of things. One of these things that stood out was power. Oh he loved power, the ability to get into increasingly insane situations. So he figured, why not be a little greedy? Kuro grinned, speaking again. "Why not sweeten the deal? Ive heard of a few abilities which I would love to be able to access, like that one ability I havent heard of for a long time, where the user summons a giant samurai around them or whatever." Oh the fun he could have with that... He would have too, if he had more than the basic idea of what the jutsu was and how to preform it. Konoha was one of the easiest villages to find, but to find information on the abilities of its ninja was difficult, especially such specific abilities...

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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Sun Apr 26, 2015 10:18 pm

Kenjiro was slightly disheartened due to being ignored by his God for the moment, that's when he remembered the offer this clothing God had made to Lord Kuro, an offer of more power. Kenjiro let out a hearty laugh "Ahh great God of clothing, Lord Kuro already has pants. What else could you possibly give him?" it was at that point a scream was heard, a mugger who for some reason decided to mug someone in the high ranked Jinchuriki infested Konoha. He ran off with a woman's purse and Kenjiro gave chase, holding Yoru up as he did.

His entire demeanor had changed at this point, Kenjiro's eyes had narrowed, a serious look over his face. Kenjiro due to being a well trained shinobi was easily catching up to the mugger and, if you knew Kenjiro, one might have though anal violation was in the man's future. Kenjiro, holding the blade straight out, gave a mighty thrust of the blade and it severed the man's spine. The man was almost certainly dead, throwing his body from his beloved Yoru's blade, Kenjiro sliced through the man's neck like a hot knife through butter and was thoroughly covered in the man's blood, flicking the blood off of Yoru, Kenjiro sheathed his blade. He then promptly threw the woman's bag back to her before punting the head over the head of a man whom was holding his hands up like football post. Kenjiro gave the woman back her bag, why she didn't look older then 80! "Here's your bag, mam." Kenjiro said, in a kind voice. The old woman gave Kenjiro a grin "Thankhs, Shunny this shit's great for my glaucoma." the substance in the bag was smelly, sticky and green and treated that nice old ladies eye sight problems.

Seeing no issue with that Kenjiro casually walked over to Kirito and Kuro before looking at him and asking "Any issue with the mess, All mighty god of clothing?"

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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Mon Apr 27, 2015 3:03 pm

"Ahh great God of clothing, Lord Kuro already has pants. What else could you possibly give him?"

Kirito had ignored this statement by Kuro's student and instead focused on what Kuro had said. The ability to summon a large samurai surrounding the user's body. Kirito knew exactly what that was, in fact he used it often himself. He was curious as to how Kuro knew of the Susano'o technique but Kirito could always figure that out later. Meanwhile, as Kirito and Kuro were having their conversation, the Kyuubi Jin dashed off in pursuit of a mugger who was apparently stupid enough to mug someone in the presence of the Hokage. Kirito paid it no mind, having faith that Kuro's student would take care of the issue, and instead answered Kuro's questions.

"A technique where a samurai surrounds their body huh? Fortunately I know exactly the technique you are talking about and I would like to know how you know about it Kuro. But if the ability to use the Susano'o is your price for becoming one of Konoha's ninja and defending the village...." Kirito said as he trailed off. As he began to trail off, Kirito had held up his left hand with the palm facing upwards. His eyes quickly flashed to their rinnegan state as he created a small ring in his palm instantly and his eyes would return to normal. Again activating his rinnegan and creating the ring took no longer than .03 seconds to do. At this point and time several meters behind Kirito inside of the village, the kyuubi jin had managed to gruesomely murder the mugger and get the woman's purse back that was stolen. He was now covered in the mugger's blood and seemed to be walking back toward Kirito.

As soon as the ring had been made Kirito would give it a quick look over before tossing it to Kuro. This was no ordinary ring. The ring itself possessed the ability to perform the Susano;o technique that Kuro had been asking about. "There. Now you have the ability to access the technique you were asking about." at this point the kyuubi jin had returned to Kirito and asked him a question, still calling him the God of clothing.

"Any issue with the mess, All mighty god of clothing?"

When the kyuubi jin had asked this question, Kirito had turned his head to look at the man and smiled before a translucent green skeletal arm had appeared and grabbed the kyuubi jin, placing him back at Kuro's side before disappearing. "Please try to refrain from killing my villagers, even if they are stupid enough to mug someone in front of me. What is your name jichuuriki of the kyuubi?" Kirito had said finally addressing Kuro's student for the first time. Kirito would wait for the jinchuuriki's answer before finally turning back to Kuro, giving him sufficient time to check over the ring and try it's powers. "Well Kuro, is the ring to your liking? If so I look forward to having you and your student as my ninja."
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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Thu Apr 30, 2015 9:58 pm

Kuro glanced at Kenji, amused by his antics. Kuro was also being a lazy shit due to various things infecting his life and many hidden rage issues against many people. Simply put, he was too tired to be motivated, so he was going to be short, much like this post. Kuro took the ring, grinning widely. "Well, I do want free leave. I can always check in when needed, but Ive been traveling for a long time and I cant stop yet." Not when he still had so much to learn about things. Kuro glanced at the ring, channeling his massive chakra into it, causing a skeletal arm to grow out of his back. The arm then reached out above Kenjiro and smashed downwards, not at full strength of course, but enough to plant him into the ground. "Any chance I could get travel restrictions that most ninja have lifted?" It was only polite to ask, even if it was doubtful Kirito could genuinely stop him, or would bother to make Kuro a missing ninja. What dumbass would possibly be stupid enough to try hunting him down. Kuro couldve sworn he heard a sound similar to sneezing, coming from the only other person with rinnegan in Konoha, but he couldnt be sure he wasnt just hearing things.

(Not feeling well, short post)

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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Thu Apr 30, 2015 10:10 pm

Kenjiro looked on as the two spoke, Kenjiro for some reason had a delayed reaction "Great God of clothing my name is Kenji-" poor bastard was cut off by a giant fucking skeletal punch from his douche bag god, but he wasn't bitter. "As I was saying, my name is Kenjiro. Truly even though I just got here, I must be going, so long." with that, Kenjiro left. With a minor limp, again douche bag God, he wasn't bitter though.

[exit]

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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Sat May 02, 2015 2:45 pm

[ill post on this today]
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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Sun May 03, 2015 12:55 am

"Well, I do want free leave. I can always check in when needed, but Ive been traveling for a long time and I cant stop yet. Any chance I could get travel restrictions that most ninja have lifted?"

Kirito hadn't seen a problem with that at all. In fact, he thought it would be beneficial for Kuro to travel and gather information for Konoha while continuing to protect it. He was about to say so when the kyuubi jinchuuriki had finally given his name. Kenjiro. Kenjiro told Kirito his name and then excused himself. Apparently he had to leave after just getting to Konoha. That didn't bother Kirito. If he had Kuro to protect Konoha that would be enough. Kirito also got the sense that Kenjiro would protect Konoha too, as long as Kuro was doing so. Kirito merely nodded to Kenjiro in farewell before addressing Kuro. "I don't see a problem with that. You may come and go as you please. Just be sure to make it to Konoha to relay any information you have that could help the village. I'll put you on the Konoha ninja roster today. Is there anything else you wish to speak about before entering Konoha as one of it's ninja?"
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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Mon May 04, 2015 6:25 pm

Kuro chuckled, the giant Susanoo arm pulling above him. He noted the blood from Kenjiro on the arm, grinning. It was quite a bit, right around 26 ounces. Kuro balled the hand into a fist and leaned upward, opening his mouth, before the arm vanished, leaving all the blood to come pouring down his throat, all twenty six ounces. Oddly, it reminded him of honey, the way it poured down his throat with a syrupy motion, yet still flowed somewhat smoothly. Not like he needed to breathe, but still. Poor Kenjiro was likely tired from the amount of blood he had lost, but would ultimately suffer no real problems, especially with how strange the Kaguya body was. Speaking of, Kuro activated Creation Rebirth, using the cells he had collected from Kenjiro as a format to replicate the bloodline within his own body. 

While this happened, Kuro nodded at Kirito. "Sounds great. No other questions, although I look forward to a good spar, though, maybe with me being outnumbered. You should see about setting that up, Im sure you have some people that could use the training. You should be included in the fight as well." Kuro chuckled, wondering how well he would do in such a situation. It was likely he would lose, if the opponents Kirito chose were skilled. On the other hand, he needed more training, and what a better way to get it than through being outnumbered?

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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Mon May 04, 2015 6:25 pm

The member 'Psychosis' has done the following action : Dices roll

'Bloodline Dice' : 1
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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Thu May 07, 2015 1:13 am

"Sounds great. No other questions, although I look forward to a good spar, though, maybe with me being outnumbered. You should see about setting that up, Im sure you have some people that could use the training. You should be included in the fight as well."


It sounded to Kirito as if this business was settled. Kirito smirked at the idea of the fight Kuro had suggested. He had something planned already and adding Kuro to the mix would surely make it more interesting. In fact, Kirito was now looking forward to it. "Alright then. Welcome to Konoha Kuro. I actually have a sort of sparring match set up. t would be easy for me to add you to the mix. I'll fill you in on the details later. For now why don't you come in and get settled." Kirito would say to Kuro. If Kuro had anything else to say or ask Kirito would respond accordingly. Kirito would make his way back through the gates of Konoha, hopefully with Kuo following him. Kirito would direct Kuro to wherever he needed to go once inside Konoha before disappearing in a yellow flash, reappearing back in his office to take care of everything that had just happened along with continuing the work he had started earlier.
[exit]
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PostSubject: Re: Honorificabilitudinitatibus   Fri May 08, 2015 8:22 pm

Kuro nodded at Kirito's response, understanding the situation far more than he should have, if he did not break the fourth wall each time he blinked. In any case, Kuro chuckled, ready to leave. "Ive actually got plans in a certain village, but Ill be back soon. If you need me, just send a bird and Ill be right here. Although if you have some method of teleportation like myself, that would also be useful. Anyway, Ill see you later." Kuro vanished into a portal of the Abyss, with the portal disappearing as fast as it appeared. Hopefully Kirito would understand Kuro was in a rush, and this, this post was shit. If not, oh well.

{Exit to Abyss}

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